Breaking the Barriers: Overcoming Obstacles to Seeking Help for Sexual Sin
Sexual sin, particularly pornography use, is a pervasive struggle for many men and women, even within the church. Despite the promises of freedom and healing in Christ, individuals often face significant barriers that prevent them from seeking help. Addressing these barriers with biblical truth is essential for leading people toward repentance and restoration.
What is preventing you from getting the help you need to fight sexual sin? Like many, you have probably tried to stop and you have failed. This can lead to giving up and despair. So what are we to do? One important approach is to take an honest look at why we don’t seek the help we actually need. One thing should be clear is that we cannot fight sin on our own:
“ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. ”
Whatever approach we take, requires us to place our trust in The Lord, not ourselves, seeking his wisdom and power for change in our lives. Here are the three biggest barriers to seeking help for sexual sin and how God’s word speaks into these challenges and invites us to partner with him for change.
Shame and Fear of Judgment
Shame often drives people to hide their sin rather than bring it into the light. The fear of being judged or rejected by others—even within the church—can feel overwhelming. This barrier is deeply rooted in a misunderstanding of God’s grace and the gospel’s power to transform.
• “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, ESV).
• “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1, ESV).
God’s Word assures us that confession leads to forgiveness and cleansing, not condemnation. When we fear judgment from others, we must remember that God’s verdict in Christ is final: forgiven and loved.
Deepak Reju writes in Pornography: Fighting for Purity: “The pathway out of shame is not nearly as easy as taking a shower to wash away physical dirt. In the Old Testament, sacrifices were made to purify the unclean and make them clean again (Lev. 16:30). But, on this side of the cross, the unclean are made clean through Christ.”
Pride and Self-Reliance
Many individuals resist seeking help because they believe they can handle their struggles on their own. Pride tells them that admitting weakness is a sign of failure, and self-reliance convinces them that they don’t need others to overcome sin.
• “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6, ESV).
• “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2, ESV).
The Bible repeatedly calls believers to humble themselves and seek community for accountability and encouragement. Pride isolates, but humility invites God’s grace and the support of His people.
Garrett Kell, in Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God, states: “God opposes pride (James 4:6; 1 Pet. 5:5). All sin is rooted in pride, as is our quest to keep it concealed. But when we sit down with another believer and own our sin, God lovingly illuminates the grossness. Confession exposes us for who we really are, rather than who we pretend to be. How does your desire to impress others hinder honest confession? So often we want to be thought well of by others, even if it means dishonoring God. This is why we dress up our sin and leave out incriminating details. Concealment feeds pride, but confession cuts its throat.”
“Concealment feeds pride, but confession cuts its throat.”
Lack of Faith in God’s Power to Transform
For many, repeated failures in fighting sexual sin lead to despair. They begin to believe that change is impossible, doubting God’s ability to free them from the cycle of sin. This lack of faith diminishes their willingness to seek help, as they see their situation as hopeless.
• “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace” (Romans 6:14, ESV).
• “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6, ESV).
The gospel promises not just forgiveness but transformation. Sanctification is a lifelong process, and God is faithful to complete the work He begins in His people.
Heath Lambert, in Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace, writes: “If you want to change nd be like Christ - whether in the area of pornography or anything else - you must believe that in Jesus you have the power to change. When you believe the power is yours, it is yours.”
Practical Steps to Overcome These Barriers
1. Confess and Believe the Gospel: Meditate on the truths of God’s grace and forgiveness. Confession is not about earning God’s favor but receiving the freedom He offers through Christ.
2. Seek Accountability in the Church: Surround yourself with mature believers who will encourage you, pray for you, and hold you accountable in love. This is why, locally we have started The Redemption Collective for men and women who want to seek help in Christ for change.
3. Trust in God’s Faithfulness: Rely on His promises to sanctify and sustain you. Change is possible because of Christ’s victory over sin.
A Call to Action
If you’re struggling with sexual sin, don’t let shame, pride, or despair keep you from seeking help. Jesus invites you to come to Him as you are: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28, ESV).
The church is not a gathering of perfect people but a family of redeemed sinners walking together toward Christ. Bring your struggle into the light, trust in God’s transforming grace, and step into the freedom He has won for you.